My Kid Hates Exercise. What Now?

Why Kids Resist Exercise 

“My kid hates exercise. What am I supposed to do?”

If you’ve ever thought this, you’re not alone. Parents tell me all the time: “my child won’t exercise no matter what I try” or “my kid refuses to exercise unless I force them.”  

I get it—it’s frustrating for a kid to be made to do something that they don't like to do.  My parents had me take violin lessons for years.  I didn't like that at all.  But here’s the thing: movement is very different from music or any other hobby. Humans don’t need hobbies to stay healthy. But we do need daily movement for health.

If your child pushes back on exercise and you feel defeated, you’re not failing. As a pediatrician, this is one of the most common struggles I hear from parents—especially if their child is carrying extra weight. The good news? It’s solvable once you shift how you think about it.

The solution isn’t buying your child a gym membership or trying to Jedi mind trick your child that exercise is fun if they don't think it is.  The solution starts with your mindset as the parent and setting clear family standards around movement.

Mindset Shift #1: Make Exercise Non-Negotiable 

The most important shift a parent can make:  truly believing that exercise is necessary and non-negotiable for your child.

Think of it like a seatbelt. Would you let your child ride in the car without buckling up just because they “hated” it? Of course not. We need to get our parental brains to the same level of belief about movement—it’s a basic safety requirement for mental and physical health.

How to Set Family Standards Around Movement 

Here’s where many parents get tripped up: we negotiate with our kids about exercise.

“Let’s try to work out three times this week.” Sounds good, right? The problem is it implies that three is the max.

Instead of goals, think standards. You’re saying: This is who we are in our family. We move our bodies every day because our health depends on it.

Once you make this decision, the daily negotiations stop. You’ve already decided.

Mindset Shift #2: Small Steps Really Count 

A five-minute walk around the block is infinitely better than staying on the couch.

We’ve been conditioned to think exercise only “counts” if it’s sweaty, intense, and at least 30 minutes long. That’s not true—especially for kids (or adults) who are just starting out.

One teenager I worked with began by walking to the mailbox and back. That’s it. It was tolerable, it felt doable, and from there it built into walking to friends’ houses and eventually biking to school.

 Why Even Tiny Movements Work 

•  They lower resistance and make success possible
•  Success breeds more success
•  Kids learn movement isn’t torture
•  Small actions add up to big change over time
•  They reinforce your family standard without drama

Remember: you’re not training a marathon runner. You’re raising a human who sees daily movement as normal.

What If You Hate Exercise? 

Let me just say this—you’re not alone. A lot of parents tell me, “I want my kid to move more, but honestly I don’t even like exercise.”

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to become a marathon runner or love the gym to model movement for your child. Start exactly where they do—with something small you can tolerate. A 10-minute walk, stretching before bed, parking farther away than usual.

When your kids see you moving your body even a little bit, it sends a powerful message: this is just what we do in our family. You don’t have to love it. You just have to do it.

Mindset Shift #3: Practice Supportive Parenting 

Supportive Parenting is Empathy + Confidence.

It sounds like this: “I know this is hard for you, AND I know you can do it.”

This approach hits the sweet spot—you’re not dismissing your child’s feelings (“Come on, it’s not that bad!”), and you’re not giving in (“Fine, just sit back down”). Instead, you’re acknowledging their struggle while also holding the boundary.

What Supportive Parenting Sounds Like 

•  “I can see you don’t want to go for a walk right now, and I know you can do it. Let’s figure out what would make it easier.”
•  “I understand this feels hard, and I also know you can do hard things.”
•  “Your feelings are valid. I hear you. And in our family, moving our bodies isn’t optional.”

Mindset Shift #4: Uncouple Movement From Weight Loss  

This one is crucial. Movement is not punishment for body size. It’s not about burning calories or earning food.

Daily movement helps with:

•  Strong bones and muscles
•  Better sleep
•  Improved mood and focus
•  Confidence
•  Energy for things kids love
•  Long-term health at the cellular level

When my son Theo asks why he has to get some exercise, I never mention weight. Because it’s not about weight! People of every size need exercise. I tell him about how his brain works better, how he sleeps deeper, how strong he feels afterward.

And I sometimes ask him: “Would a horse be healthier running around the pasture or standing in the stall all day?”  Humans are the same.

Common Parent Questions About Kids and Exercise 

What if my child refuses to exercise?
This is so common. If ten minutes feels impossible, start with two minutes. Walk to the end of the driveway. The point is to set the standard that movement is part of daily life—even if it’s very small at first.

How do I get my kid to exercise without a fight?
Ask, “What sounds fun?  What can you tolerate today?” Maybe it’s basketball, rollerblading, walking the dog, or riding their bike. Giving kids some choice lowers the resistance.

What if my kid hates sports?
That’s fine. Not every child needs to play team sports. Try biking, swimming, yoga, martial arts, hiking, or just walking after dinner. What matters is the movement, not competition.

How long until they stop complaining?
Usually within 1–2 weeks if you’re consistent. Yes, they may still gripe, but that’s not failure. The win is that the movement happened, not whether they smiled through it.

What if I don’t feel like enforcing it?
That’s exactly why family standards exist. We don’t wear seatbelts only when we’re in the mood. It has to be the same with movement. Parents often ask, “how much exercise do kids need?” The recommendation is about 60 minutes a day—but please don’t let that overwhelm you. Small bits really do add up.

The Long Game: Building Family Standards 

You’re not just trying to “get your kid to exercise.” You’re raising a human who sees daily movement as part of caring for their body.

This isn’t about a week or a month. It’s about the daily patterns that add up to lifelong health.

And here’s the truth: the most powerful way to set that standard is for you to go first. When your kids see you moving your body—not for weight, but for health and energy—they internalize it as normal.

When movement becomes a family standard instead of a goal, everything changes:

•  Daily battles decrease
•  Exercise stops feeling like punishment
•  Movement becomes routine, like brushing teeth
•  Intrinsic motivation develops over time
•  The whole family gets healthier together

Some days your child will resist. That’s okay. Some days you won’t feel like enforcing it. That’s okay too. But don’t give up. Even a five-minute walk is a win—because it’s a step toward the standard you’re building.

Moving Forward: From Goals to Standards 

You’re not asking your child to love exercise. You’re not even setting a “goal” for them to achieve. You’re simply deciding that in your family, taking care of your body with movement is non-negotiable—just like eating meals, brushing teeth, or getting sleep.

When you approach it this way, the resistance starts to fade, the guilt disappears, and health routines become just…what you do.

It won’t always be easy. But I promise you—it’s worth it. You are planting seeds that will grow into a lifetime of health for your child.

I believe in you.

This blog is part of my mission to support parents raising healthier, happier kids in today’s world. Come connect with me at www.sheilacarrollmd.com.